Friday, April 8, 2016

4 & 5 months of Evie!

This month you learned to:
4 months
  • Talk nonsense
  • Eat solids
  • Sleep an extra two hours so now you're at a whopping 12 hours per night. THANK YOU 
  • Start teething
  • Kiss daddy every night when he comes home. More like MAKE OUT with daddy until mommy decides it's enough
5 months
  • Sing... like a drunk warbling chipmunk
  • Zip around on your walker
  • Watch animals lounge around
  • Feed Koopa
  • Laugh at peekaboo
  • Had your first Easter!
Expectations vs reality
I like cooking. So even when before I was pregnant and walking through the aisles of baby food I thought "Pbt. I'll just make my own babyfood. How hard can it be?". From there I romantically thought about pureeing carrots while my pot of bolognese sauce bubbles on the side.

I ran out of foods to puree after a week. Turns out I never thought past carrots. Now I crawl through the baby aisle in my disheveled baby mommy state desperately seeking ideas of foods to puree by reading the baby foods. Then I'll grab a few "as backup". Also babies eat a lot.

Baby development
I like babies. I'm fairly good with babies. I've BABYSAT before in my life. I will sing, read, and talk to my baby until my child is so developmentally advanced it'll be reading encyclopedias before preschool.

I can only go through what the Brown Bear sees about 5 times before I want to die. Unfortunately Evie would like to hear what the Brown Bear sees about 50 times. Belly time is better for the baby developmentally? Well not hearing Evie plaintively cry like her life has ended because she'd rather faceplant than use her arm muscles is better for mommy's development. Therefore Evie gets walker time and she can push herself towards the comcast box to entertain herself well before her time.

Running errands... or life
Ohh mannn... 4 months of maternity leave (extended to 7 for cancer treatment)?! SO MUCH TIME! I can do anythingg. I can be the best goddamn cancer ridden trophy wife on the face of this planet. Evie and I will go have afternoon tea and shopping everyday.

Forget afternoon tea. Or morning coffee much to my despair. We're lucky if we can get ready by 2PM as Evie needs her two naps and two meals all before lunchtime. Unfortunately those naps last less than 30 minutes so by the time mommy has recovered from the first round it all begins again. Also I've developed the habit of peeing with the bathroom door open so Evie can walker her way to me at all times. Going to be reallll awkward when we have guests over and I forget one of these days.