The baby non-sharer
I always thought that moms who didn't offer to let people hold their babies were just baby hogs/germaphobes/ or crazy baby ladies who couldn't get enough of their kids.
TURNS OUT THIS IS NOT TRUE (at least for me).
IN REALITY, I do not offer you my kid because I'm terrified that:
- a. My kid will take one look at you and scream therefore turning you off from my kid forever and I will never be able to pawn my baby off on you ever again D:
- b. My kid will spit up all over you and you will never see my kid as anything other than "the thing that expelled suspicious looking cloudy liquid all over my $600 dress" and I will never be able to pawn my baby off on you ever again D:
- c. My kid will attempt to gouge your eyes out, rip out your hair, or shove her fist in your mouth and you'll feel so violated I will never be able to pawn my baby off on you again D:
In addition, about 90% of the time I just assume nobody could possibly want to hold this drooly wriggly thing and it's sadly my burden to bear for the rest of my life... or until she's 18.
So moral of the story: PLEASE TAKE MY BABY SO I CAN PAWN HER OFF ON YOU.
I mean, who wouldn't want this dainty thing?
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