week 38

Hello there spawn,

It is now week 38 and you are starting to overstay your welcome.

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I was told that the last month would be the most uncomfortable. Secretly I thought to myself, HOW BAD CAN IT BE?! I get to sit at home and do ALL the things I've always wanted to do. Now that I'll be on maternity leave, it'll be like vacation. Turns out, waiting around for the baby occupies about 80% of your time and the other 20% is just you mustering up enough strength to waddle from one room to another. I can literally do one activity a day before giving up on life. And usually that is only because my mom hauled me out to the supermarket.

During this last month, EVERYTHING hurts. My finger joints hurt whenever I bend them. The belly is really heavy and the 6ish lb bowling ball resting in my pelvis makes me feel and move around like I'm 60. I can't shift weight onto one leg without shooting pains going up my back. And every now and then the spawn likes to suddenly remind me that she possesses a knee or elbow and will abruptly stick it in my side causing me to double over and have to stand around massaging back the awkward lump until she's satisfied I've noticed her appendages. Pretty much every position is super uncomfortable - I found out when I literally wanted to die at the movie theater watching The Martian and the poor people sitting around me had to deal with my constant fidgeting.

My one saving grace was when one day, out of sheer desperation, I stole my sister's exercise ball out from her room. OMG, that thing has been a lifesaver and my only regret is that I didn't steal the ugly space-eating thing out of her room earlier. I pretty much just roll around on this now and it's been amazing for letting me stretch out my legs/pelvis without killing me not to mention it's the only thing that is comfortable to sit on (oh, you don't believe me, but you will).